This is not the life I want….

0
41986

I have been travelling to West Malaysia a lot lately. From the month of May until August, I’ve traveled to West Malaysia three times, with each time spanning at least four days.  The travel is required as I need to attend courses, get some certificates, which in return will allow me to perform my duties for my day job.

My colleagues sound envious every time they know I have to travel to West Malaysia because most of them think it is ‘a holiday trip’, but things are really different in reality.  Can’t blame them nonetheless for thinking in such manner,  as those in my job scope rarely get to travel far far away.

However, for the past months, since the start of these courses, life has been a little bit ‘sucky’ because the whole course bugs me a lot. It is like I have this ‘unfinished business’ for the past few months because the courses I need to attend,  not only require me to complete task, but also need me to pass an interview which is audited externally. – Not the life I want. 

To add to everything, there’s ‘homework’ (assignments), and this requires us to work late to complete task during the course. There’s huge pressure really, and with time running out fast for everyone, there’s a need to complete everything in a blink of an eye, figuratively speaking.

Working late, course, discussion
Burning the midnight oil during courses. Some sessions last until 2AM or longer.

So, really… these travels I’m taking away from home for long periods of time are not fun.  If I had it my way, I’d prefer to stay back, but that’s not an option really. Not now.

My biggest worry whenever I have to travel is my little family.  In my family, my wife’s job requires her to travel more than I do. In fact, I rarely travel, so it’s alright when she has to go.  It’s understood she needs to travel as it is part of her day job description.  It is however not part of mine.

This year, she has been travelling less, and it is indeed a blessing since all of a sudden, I am the one travelling more. Knowing that my wife doesn’t need to travel makes me slightly relieved, because at least I know my daughter is going to bed with a familiar face next to her.

1
My lil family

But that knowledge doesn’t take away the anxiety I feel every time my wife tells me she needs to be somewhere for work when I am travelling.  It’s fortunate that so far, all her trips are day trips, and I am crossing my fingers hard that she will not need to stay overnight somewhere, when I am way.

For those having parents staying with them, it is easier, I guess. My situation is more delicate because my little girl has never spent a night with anyone else since she started to recognize faces. In the evenings, she will forgo her day naps until either one of us picks her up from her nanny, so I really hate the thought if she waited, and no one came for her.

Another few more work trips are in plans this year
Another few more work trips are in plans this year

In the coming weeks, I will yet again need to leave home for a few days. While I know these trips are for my day job, I can’t deny the feeling of reluctance. – They say having a kid changes you, and they say right.  If I was single, travelling anywhere outside of my work place would be the icing of the whole ‘working cake’. Now, it feels like a burden.

I may not be the greatest dad, but I would want to be there for my girl, always.  Being away from my family all the time for travelling is not the life I want.

Let’s hope I didn’t jinx my luck by writing about this.

Happy September everyone. New year comes in 3 months!

 

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here