Demoralized

3
1004

Updated @8:32pm

TRUST?

I once said to David; “When the trust is gone, the LOVE will go too”, and he dully agreed.. while he rephrased it by saying “You should always trust your couple, and don’t be too obsessive over their movements”.  Yeah, he was right, and still is.  For me, there is no problem with trust… but it kind of hurts to know that secrets are whispered around you, ignoring your presence, making you nothing more than just a ‘second class‘ person if compared to others.

It makes you wonder what is soOOoo damn secretive.  It makes you ponder of what is discussed.  It makes you think that you are so damn unworthy to even know the smallest secrets moving around despite the ‘secret’ being nothing much.  I guess, the most hurtful thing is to realize that you are not trusted enough to know ‘that secret’, yet others are given the privilege to know about it.

Maybe its just me, but frankly… I do have ‘that small feeling‘ barking at my ass, and says that there is no point being special to someone, if you are not treated in such a way…. even if they claim you are special to them.  In anyway I put it, the fact is… it still hurts, and I can feel the pain in my chest.

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Life’s a bitch I guess.  At least mine is.  So many bad things has happened within this week.  My SE K550i is already having technical problems, and I would not be carrying my Biology classes next year.  Don’t ask me why.  I actually had a huge “?” in my mind when I heard the news.  I have to say, I feel a little disappointed as I do consider my Biology classes to be among my favourite.  I was made to understand that my class would be hijacked by another teacher (yet to be confirmed), and I would be focusing on teaching form 4 students how to switch the aircond ‘on’ and ‘off’.  *YAWN*

Other than that, I just hope they don’t give me Mathematics as I do not enjoy teaching Mathematics.  I’m to soft at teaching Mathematics.  I hate scolding, and I hate forcing.  Two major elements which are vital in teaching Mathematics, which I am really not good at… so sue me if you think I should be able to teach Mathematics…

But a job is a job…. and I am now more concern about my hand phone.  Yeah, my K550i Sony Ericsson hand phone.  Its having problems, and its bugging me BIG TIME.  I’m crossing my fingers to get a new LG phone free from Digi, but like all contest or free stuff… you have to fight for it, and there is no guarantee that I’d end up having a new phone.  I guess, if it gets worst, I’d have to fork out about RM800 to get myself another new phone, which is not really in my budget for this year *SIGH* With my K550i having problems, I guess, photos would come by difficult for this blog.

*YAWN AGAIN*… I’m tired and sleepy.. guess I have to take my nap.  Might want to go and repair my phone later, but it depends… and Caroline SMSed me yesterday, stating she’s marrying Jonas on Merdeka’s eve. Too bad though.. I can’t go..  I have class.. I soooOOOoo hate my job right now… DAMN!!

3 COMMENTS

  1. TRUST is a big issue for me personally…I don’t easily trust people but when I do and they betray that trust, chances of them getting that trust back is next to nothing…

    New theme I see…had problems commenting on ur blog all this while. Hope now OK dy.

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