“Whenever you said you’re sad, i feel like a failure“
Ever slipped your tongue? Well, I have… On numerous occasions.
Sometimes, I mean well, but the way I put it, puts me in bad light. Sometimes, I mean to compliment, but I end up making people angry. A bad choice of words?? Yeah, I guess so… I don’t think I am the type which would put things in such a sweet manner, as I am frank, and blunt when speaking my mind.
Do I twist words around? I guess so… I do twist them till I myself can’t understand what on earth I am talking about. Try explaining cell division to 30-40 teenagers. I have a good feeling they don’t know what the hell I am saying to them, but they remain interested to see how ‘in-intellectual’ I am in talking shit.
You might be wondering why I am all of a sudden talking about this. Em, well *shakes head*, I was kind of worried about someone, and I kind of forced that particular person to go to the clinic to get treatment. That person agreed to the ‘go to clinic part’ but disagreed on the ‘treatment’ part. Bluntly, I lamented that there’s no point going to the clinic if that person doesn’t want to get treatment. And then, the person agreed with me, and decided not to go at all.
So, my so called ‘brilliant plan’ backfired, and now, I have regrets. “Nice going Cyril!!!” I could have choose words like “You should get treatment so that you’ll get better“, or “Why not I accompany you in the treatment room so that we could face it together?“…. but NOOooo.. I had to go for the harsh “You don’t get treatment, better no need to go!!” Awww…. that’d hurt anyone.
So much for being a gentleman. At 25, I’d expect better from myself, and this latest revelation just proves that I still have so much to learn about manners, and ethics. Other than that, i guess I have to improve my social skills which seem to be killing me slowly. Maybe I’ve been watching too much movies… or maybe its the Football Manager 2008 game I’ve been playing for ages.
Yeah, blame it on those shit. The hard fact is… I’m human, I make mistakes… and I have to slap my face twice (or trice), and smell reality that I need to improve my personality.
By the way, One Other is designing a really cool shirt which say “Don’t be fooled, I just act like I care”, which has no connection to this post what so ever. I just think its good to wear that shirt when I attend those parties where people go “Hey Cyril, when is your turn??”, and I could directly smile and point the wording to them… and I must point out Justin’s blog. I found this post of his really touching. Wish I could write like him.