Understanding Sincerity

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I always believed that when you do something, you must be sincere, or in BM, we call it ‘ikhlas’. What is the actual meaning of ‘sincere’? Well, I’ll leave the proper definition of ‘sincere’ to the language experts, but I’ll try do define it here by myself, so do tell if you find my definition a little bit ‘off’.

For me, when an act is done with sincerity, it will be done without anyone asking. It will involve a huge amount of giving, a huge amount of receiving, but a very little sum of asking.

Take for example someone whom has won a lottery of a huge sum. Which one of this situations is more sincere:
A-He offers to buy you coffee because he wants to; or
B-You ask him to buy coffee for you because he has just struck a huge jackpot?

I believe that A is the preferred answer. The reason? Well, simply because of my above statement. I don’t have to ask, and he offers to buy me coffee. It’s a simple case of making everybody happy.

'Sponsor makan'

Yeah, I know. Those whom are willing to ask for ‘sponsor’ sessions would defend that they merely asked, and it is his right to fulfill their wish, but I’d like to argue on this. I consider this an unfortunate Malaysian culture which is that whenever someone gets something (especially money), they MUST give it out to everyone. In other words, they must share. I’m not saying that sharing is not good, but I believe that there are times for this to happen, and the act of sharing must be sincere. What I mean is, the person whom gets lucky, must share because he wants to, and not because he is asked to do so by someone. After all, in some cases the ‘lucky’ person isn’t at all lucky because he has worked hard to get that something, and he should, by all means enjoy what he has done to deserve the reward. Yes, even those who strike 4D worked hard to religiously buy the number, queue up, take time to check the result and practically spend their personal money to do all that, and yet some of us have the guts to ask them to ‘sponsor’ when they strike like once in a blue moon.

The way I see it, when you ask for something, the person whom you asked will feel obliged to respond in good faith. The word ‘NO’ would put him in bad light, and if he were not to respond to the request, we Malaysians will say he is stingy, yet… the ULTIMATE FACT is that it is his money and he has every right to spend it any how he wants. Nonetheless, the person whom has got this ‘wealth’ should know whom should be acknowledge for his success, and do what is responsible by give them something back as a gesture of appreciation.

With that said, I find it very amusing and so ‘un-cool‘ to see how some people can coax others whom are ‘lucky’ to share their ‘wealth’ with them. Even more pathetic are those whom bring up their contribution towards that particular ‘wealth’; i.e saying “Hey, belanja la.. If I didn’t bla..bla..bla… you wouldn’t get this that this that“. Regardless of how these ‘wealthy people’ obtained their ‘wealth’, I feel it is just not right for others to ask for a share, even how small. I think, it’s better for the person to voluntarily give you something, than for you to ask for it. It is more sincere.

I know, this post would ‘challenge’ practically everyone because it is done by almost everyone, and I believe that Malaysians should change this mentality.  I think we call it ‘budaya meminta-minta‘.  I’m not promoting individualism here as I still strongly believe that sharing is good, but as I said above, it should be done willingly and sincerely with someone offering, and not someone asking for the offering.

Sharing is giving… but don’t ask to be given something

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