When You Are A Sinner



I don’t know why this particular Monday seems to past so slow.  It seems like its taking forever to turn to Tuesday, and I really can’t wait for pay day.  I’m as broke as anyone shouldn’t be now (Thanks to my dentist’s RM420 service charge), and there are so much things going on, I really don’t know where to start.

Well, for the past few weeks, my blog has been lacking its personal touch.  Yeah, blame it on so many political events, Merdeka and also social events going up in cyberspace, most particularly Facebook (FB).  Is it only me, but is it like blogs are not getting its usual place in the society anymore?  With people placing up short updates on their lives on FB every 5 minutes, blogs are left abandoned.  There is simply nothing much to say because everything has been said on FB.  It’s easy, its addictive.. and its killing blogs, slowly…

Merdeka was short lived this year.  I’m sure you guys can see how Merdeka came and passed like any ordinary day.  I for once, didn’t feel the heat.  I put up the my Sarawak flag as usual, and bought a new ‘Jalur Gemilang’, but the feel ain’t the same.  Not like it used to be.

Politically wise, Malaysia or more particularly the Peninsular of Malaysia is going from bad to worst.  Lack of sensitivity and calls for protection over only a certain group of people is making a lot of the minorities unhappy.  I know I am not happy over certain issues which I feel is not fair.  But that’s about how much I have to say about these teething issues in the Peninsular.  I count my blessing that I am in Sarawak every time I look at news reports about racial and religious incidents over in the peninsular.  It makes me wonder, why is it so hard for some people to just give and take in certain issue.  To some extend, I feel that the minorities have been very silent and well mannered when it comes to issues which obviously could incite racial disharmony.  The minorities have been nothing short of united in giving up their rights for the sake of peace, but why on earth are some people whom is given practically everything…trying to provoke hatred? *shakes head*

A student taking an exam

The past few days have not been easy.  After finishing one exam, I have to do another two more (one is the SPM trial exam, and one is a programme we call g-li).  I finished the trial exam papers over the weekend only to have it rejected by my superior.  She cited the fonts were too small.  Yeah, I know it was small, but I also know my students aren’t blind and time was running out for me to send those papers for printing… and so, I tried my luck anyway despite knowing I already had a 30% chance of the exams I prepared being rejected.  What luck.  I had to re-do the whole paper again,but well… its part of her job anyway to maintain the quality of exams.

More marking is coming my way soon.  I had a week of  holiday last week, but I practically used that all up finishing my marking, and keying up marks.  Now, who dares say that teachers have so much holidays?  Am I paid extra to do all these during school holidays?  NOPE.  I do it for free, and for my students because I remember clearly how bad it felt when my teachers delayed my marks when I was still in school because the didn’t do the marking.  I don’t want to be like them.   This coming Raya holidays (another 1 week) would be no different.  I’d be busy marking, but I will try to get some rendang and ketupat into my tummy when it’s Raya =P

The holy rosary

And owh.. the title.. I don’t know why I figured of such a title to be honest.  Time is moving at snail pace, and I guess.. with the heat and the stress from work, and other things going around the country, stuff going around me… I just felt that maybe I have sinned a little too much this year, or maybe… we all have sinned a little too much this year.  Maybe it’s time to repent.  Let’s pray for a peaceful and united Malaysia.  Let’s pray for those lost souls whom have faltered along the way.  Let’s pray for strength and wisdom in making decisions.  Let’s pray for LOVE…..

This is one of my favorite song during mass:


I believe for every drop of rain that falls a flower grows
I believe that somewhere in the darkest night a candle glows
I believe for every one who goes astray someone will come to show the way
I believe I believe

I believe above the storm the smallest prayer will still be heard
I believe that someone in the great somewhere hears every word
Every time I hear a new born baby cry or touch a leaf or see the sky
Then I know why I believe

(I believe above the storm the smallest prayer will still be heard
I believe that someone in the great somewhere hears every word)
Every time I hear a new born baby cry or touch a leaf or see the sky
Then I know why I believe I believe


My fav version would be the one sang by Loretta Lynn, but Elvis Presley also did a version of the song which was kind of slow.  This version is sung by LeAnn Rimes, one of my all time favorite country singer.

It actually sounds so much better when sung by the singers in St Joseph Cathedral, Kuching during mass. Trust me.


  1. This is going to sound more gay than the comment you left on my blog, but I love “I Believe” too! I even memorised the lyrics so I can sing it anywhere.. I also agree with your opinion on Merdeka celebrations man. 1Malaysia is starting to sound cynical to me.

    LOLs… 1Malaysia? Urgh… Too much hype.

  2. I like the red on the glass up there, is it ribena on the rocks? and… what’s with the rexona?

    I totally agree that FB is very much overrated these days, and blogs are dying a slow death. but what can we do?

    Wah.. how can you guess its Ribena?? Uhh.. I love Ribena. Prefer it to other juice. The rexona is there coz I was using it, and was jalan2 while using it, and left it at the most convenient place… hahaha

    Er, what an we do abut the death of blogs? Well, maybe we can blog about it..heheh.. I’m waiting for your novel ;P

  3. looking at the Rosary beads, oh no… i havent been to church mass for weeks now. 🙁

    Its not only you.. I think a lot of us are also in the same boat. These few weeks, with the work load and all… Weekends are pretty much occupied, making Sunday the bet day to relax.

  4. Gosh I can imagine how those exam papers can take such toll on you. Now I can understand the pressure of the teachers during those really demanding times. truly admirable what you guys can endure !!

    I am not exactly a fan of FB, nothing against it, I just do not use it at all these days. I choose to reserve some privacy, and being overly open there, is like inviting people to attack me anywhere, anytime. I might delete my FB soon, since I do not see any point of keeping it alive.

    Once Malaysian blogosphere was such a great place to surf. Nonetheless, things have evolved, and somehow the good bloggers have become fewer and fewer. To me, what truly defines a good blog, is a blog that is filled with the blogger’s heart and soul. Meaning, the blogger pours much honest thoughts, and feelings into his writing and compositions.

    Just my opinion, of course people can choose to differ in views.

    Funny thing, when I was young, I do pray the Rosary, though I am not a Catholic. I still own a rosary somewhere in my Kuching home. I can still recall Holy Mary fully !!

    Anyway, do take care of yourself. After all those energy sapping exam papers, do reward yourself with something !! Go catch a movie, or take a walk at the beach or whatever that soothes your soul.

    Cheers mate

    Thanks for understanding Robin ;D Its always good to know when others know the job stress we ppl experience. Well, FB is fun, in a way.. you get to re-connect with friends, and they have good privacy settings. My main aim for FB is t re-connect with old friends, and so far.. it has been doing just that for a good reason. Adding new friends will only work if i know them, or have met them.. so no strangers in FB la..

    I have to agree on you about good bloggers. Those whom are transparent, and also spill out thier thoughts are the most interesting to read, and also the best. Those doing nothing personal makes the blog.. err.. ordinary. which is what my own blog is becoming. But what to do… my job requires me to keep personal stuff to myself… haiyah*sigh*

    Anyway, I’d be going to MBO tHe Springs this Friday to test em out and check em out. If you wer here, we could go together… but yeah.. maybe next time. Any suggestions on a movie?

  5. It’s ok.. blog can reach everyone, while FB is limited to those who knows us only. just keep the juice coming out..

    That’s true… and the juice will remain coming out =P No worries there.. It’s a passion.

  6. Esy, love Ribena too… haha! (cant be red wine, right?)

    Novel? Right……

    Ahaa… I have a bottle of wine in my room. Not sure its red or white.. but it was a gift from a student.. I told him, I’ll keep it for 10 year, and then drink it up.. hahha


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